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Lois left

March 31, 2007

In Pops’ eyes were layers of time. I could feel them when they rolled into me and each layer had a quick tale to tell, to remind me of what he had known and seen and done and all that we had been through together. The gooks and punches and mud and fuckin’. The lawyers, guns, and money, as they say, whoever they are.
Loosing Mom, Nunu going back to the old family place, and Lois going to California after the house fire. The weight of my getting the little jolt that took me out of High School and into the state school. How Ma needed both me and Pop there when she “went over to Mary” as she called it, and how she screamed for Lois like we weren’t shit. The ton of guilt about how her bitterness and rage had squeezed every ounce of love out of us as she got sicker was right there in a big fat heavy slab, and pop passed it right over. He did not choose it. The time came through that look and those eyes, the eyes that never got old and never did anything but love me the whole long life I had known him. I never got that look from anyone else ever.

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